The ongoing saga of the mouse in my house – Me: 1 / Mouse: 0

WOO HOO!! The mouse, which has been hiding really well in my house, just popped the trap! The war is over!


 In 16 years, I’ve never once had a mouse in my house, then I had one I could not get rid of. No matter what I did, I couldn’t trap the silly thing, nor could I figure out how it was getting in.
 This one little mouse has been sneaking in incredibly small places which I could not reach and it avoided all traps. It even avoided the best trap I have, the teeth and claws of my 12 year old mouser. It became a battle of wits. I despise rodents or insects in my house. If I find one insect in my home, I tear the whole house apart and find where the little bugger is living, then I bleach everything, scrub floors, and clean carpets like crazy. Yep. I go a little over board when it comes to animals that don’t belong in my home.
Trust me, it’s never just a mouse with me, with my anxieties, I was sure this mouse was inviting his friends over, eating electrical wires, making little mouse plans, and planning to set my home on fire. I’m sure we will all end up with leprosy, the Black Plague, or some shit like that. I’m not afraid of mice, insects, or anything awful in my home, because when I banish it from our living areas (or kill it), I know I have saved myself and my family from a lifetime of being exiled to a far away island or being quarantined from society. Basically I live my whole life like a really terrible B-rated movie. The mice are terrible aliens and I’m the only who can save us… or what really happens is, I kill the mouse, make some popcorn, and watch a few hours of Hulu. That is my true reality. Not even a little Netflix and chill, but a dead mouse, bowl of popcorn, and hours of Hulu. (BTW The new show Lucifer is really good)

Where was I?

Oh yes! This mouse had to go. With it avoiding normal areas and places mice can normally be found, I was at a lose of how to get rid of it. I purchased many rodent deterrents and live traps, but it came down to snap traps.


What sucks is now I feel incredibly guilty for using such a mid-evil trap. Ughh… The balance between loving nature and animals, and keeping nasty varmints out of my home, is always a precarious situation. I actually spent a ton of money on fancy traps and high pitched deterrents. My original plan was to either deter the mouse from coming in or catch it and relocate it to a local field (and let the hawks or snakes eat it). The terrible part is, all those fancy plans did not work. The mouse did not get the memo that it was supposed to enter the mouse hotel so I could transport it’s butt outside, or he was just too smart, and possibly thought avoidance would be the best alternative. It wasn’t. This mouse had to go and I still didn’t know how to find it.


Then, a wonderful thing happened. Two days ago I noticed the mouse had become more confident with his living arrangement in my home and he had been chewing on my oven mitt. Well there you go. I had a plan. Peanut bread on a trap with the oven mitt as the prize. POW! Got’cha you varmint!


 After a strong conversation with my cat, concerning his duties of Varmint Control Officer and his failings as of late, I remembered all the loyal years of service to our home, and gave him a treat anyway.


With my cat not being able to find this unwanted guest and all the highfalutin ideas failing, it came down to me purchasing those back breaking snap traps from the dollar store, four traps for $5. I then baited the traps with perfect little mouse sized peanut butter sandwiches and put my oven mitt nearby. The poor little furry creature met his fate by playing with my oven mitt and looking for his last meal.


Don’t worry, I didn’t let it suffer any more than necessary. I made sure it was completely dead before disposing of it. Poor little baby. I really wish it had just stayed away. They can play outdoors all they wish, but once they enter my home all bets are off.I do hope he doesn’t talk ugly about me after reaching the Rainbow Bridge. I normally have a good reputation up there and I don’t need one mouse encounter to ruin my chances of playing with all the animals when I reach the end of my life.


It would be terrible for me to visit the animals over the Rainbow Bridge and find my photo up in the wanted section of their post office. Little FBI mice waiting for me as I sign in to see an old pet. They carry me away as I’m yelling, “I tried to keep the mouse away, I really did. It was the mouse. The mouse broke into my home and I had to defend myself. I honestly tried to use all non-lethal means possible, but it wouldn’t leave.” My defense will be he should have stayed outside where mice belong. Damn mouse should have stayed where he belonged. I hope the jury of animals will accept that defense (and they have not read Animal Farm anytime recently…. or talked to Mike Vic recently).  …  Sigh. Yep. I’ve got to do some serious good deeds to do to make up for killing that mouse today. Maybe I will receive only a few hours of community service cleaning out horse stalls. Here’s hoping for horse stalls! (Damn little mouse)


To prevent this from happening again, I need to figure out how the little mouse found it’s way in and look for signs of anymore (I hope it didn’t have babies). Between my cat, my neighbor’s cat, a few snakes, and of course the chickens, we typically do not have an issue with any indoor mice at all. Like I mentioned, this was our first one since living here, so something has changed.

After 16 years, I’m sure something must have shifted out of place or a crack has formed, now it’s time to close it up tight!


My summer list just became a little longer.


Until next time… be safe, be kind, and always be happy!


(and watch out for mice. They are tricky little jerks)

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