My Life In Words

Writer’s Wednesday – We’re Headed Down Under!

/ Amanda / 4 Comments

This Wednesday, April 20th, I have the honor of interviewing two published authors from Australia.

Assaph Mehr, author of Murder In Absentia and Wendy Waters, author of Catch the Moon, Mary. Both authors have graciously offered their valuable time and experience answering a few questions about their path to creative writing and ultimately publishing their stories.

Each journey in writing is as different as the sands on the beach, yet many new writers never start because they fear their personal stories aren’t as perfect as the famous writers they know by heart. They fear they aren’t good enough, they aren’t interesting enough, they aren’t smart enough, rich enough, and so on. These fears paralyze their creative minds and they never publish one word. All the stories are locked away forever, never allowing anyone to see these new worlds and adventures.

My goal is not only to introduce wonderful authors to new fans, but I also hope new writers will understand they have the tools to began their own writing journey right now.

I hope those who lock their stories away behind fear and self doubt will read the interviews and be inspired to tell your stories to the world. Every author’s journey to publishing is completely different. There is no perfect setting, no perfect story, no perfect person, and no perfect time. For new writers, the time is now.

As I spend more time with Assaph and Wendy and explore the trials, tribulations, and the path of success paved by different authors, it becomes clearly obvious, “all roads do indeed lead to Rome.”

Leading up to the interviews, please see for yourself the wonderful worlds created when words are allowed to flow.

First up is Murder in Absentia; a story of Togas, Daggers and Magic – it will appeal to lovers of murder mysteries, ancient Rome and fantasy.

You can find this intriguing murder mystery set in a fantasy world on Amazon,  

Murder in Absentia

Next up is Catch the Moon, Mary, a story of a deeply troubled family, difficult decisions, and living your life for your own dreams.

This passionate story can be found on Amazon,

Catch the moon, Mary

Don’t forget to read both individual interviews next week in Writer’s Wednesday!

Until next time…be safe, be kind, and always be happy.

 

Writer’s Wednesday: Author of Sin Eater, Jessica West

/ Amanda / 3 Comments

 

Jessica West 2

Jessica West, Independent Author & Freelance Editor

Today we feature Jessica West in Writer’s Wednesday. She’s talented and witty, and she has provided a wealth of information for new authors.

AB: Thank you Mrs. West for allowing us to interview you for this week’s segment of Writer’s Wednesday.

JW:  Thanks for featuring me at your blog today. I’m happy to offer my perspective to people who are considering a career in self-publishing. I’m just getting started myself, so still very much in the learning phase. But I’ll share what I’ve learned so far

AB:    Which book or written work has proved to be most successful?

JW:     So far, my most successful work has been Sin Eater, an Urban (Paranormal) Fantasy serial I co-wrote with author P.K. Tyler. Marketing Sin Eater was my first real experience with advertising sites. Previously, I’d only used Goodreads ads and boosted Facebook ads. The conversion rates were dismal, but I think that was mostly because of poor timing on my part. When you have a new release coming out, you “blitz” a bunch of ads, lining them up so they work together to boost visibility. I’ve learned from personal experience that the hardest part of marketing is believing in your product (your book). I absolutely adore my co-author, and love everything I’ve read from her. Our editor was amazeballs. (Naomi Leadbeater. Y’all be sure to check her out.) And so I have the utmost confidence in Sin Eater. That, in and of itself, makes marketing it so much easier; I’m certain that what I’m advertising is a quality product. So the best thing authors can do to ensure their own personal success is to produce quality work. The rest will follow.

Jessica West 3

Sin Eater by P.K. Tyler and Jessica West – available now on Amazon

AB:      For new authors, what are the pros and cons of self-publishing versus using a publisher?

JW:     I’ve never worked with a traditional publisher, so I can’t speak to that experience. But I have worked with Booktrope as an editor. For authors, the biggest benefit of publishing with them is that you don’t have to pay any upfront costs. The down side is that you have to build your team of freelancers. I say that’s a down side, but really it doesn’t have to be. It all depends on how good you are at project management. They do have project managers, but it’s still up to the author to obtain the services of one and build the rest of their team. But here’s the thing about self-publishing: you are a project manager. You will either fill several roles, or you’ll hire someone to do the work. And if you can afford it, I would definitely recommend hiring a team of professionals to help you. Publishing isn’t just about the writing.

AB:     In your own opinion, when using a publisher, do new authors need an agent?

JW:     I have no experience with traditional publishers, but I do know that some traditional publishers will not accept queries from authors. For those publishers, you have to have a literary agent submit your work. My advice to authors who want to publish traditionally is to research the publishers you hope to submit to. Search for their submissions guidelines pages and read them closely and carefully. That will give you a good idea of what each publisher expects, and what you’ll have to do to meet those expectations.

AB:      For any book you self-published, where did you find your art? Did you use an artist you located yourself or did you purchase cover art available to authors?

JW:     I like DeviantArt. Sometimes you can find copyright-free works there. But do include a line on your copyright page with a link to the artist’s work. It’s just a nice thing to do. Pixabay also has a great deal of free art. These are typically okay for eBooks. But for print copies, you’ll need a photo that’s at least 300 dpi, and those free ones are usually 70 dpi. If you try to print those as covers, they’ll just look bad. So look for either high quality (at least 300 dpi) photos or commission a work. There are some surprisingly affordable options. Patreon is a good place to find artists. Nothing will ever be as good as something that’s custom made for you. But if money is tight and your budget only allows for $200 or less for the cover, consider some pre-made options. I like Rebecca Poole’s Dreams2Media covers. Mallory Rocks has some great options too, but hers tend to run a bit high.

AB:     Did you use an outside editor for your books? If you did use an editor, did you use more than one? Would you like to give your editing service a shout out for their great services?

JW:     My published works typically go through either a critique workshop or several beta readers before I get into the editing phase. So while it’s still in development (after the first draft is done but before “real” editing begins), I try to get as much feedback as possible. Then I go to editing. I recommend Pavarti K. Tyler for developmental edits and Naomi Leadbeater for content and copy edits. I like Elizabeth Darkley, I’ve had my eye on her for a while, but haven’t had a chance to use her services yet. (Would it surprise you to learn I haven’t even written my first novel, yet? 😉 ) I’ve worked with Ally Bishop, she’s good. I’ve heard good things from people I trust about Robb Grindstaff and Phillip Lee, so I’m confident in recommending them as well. Susan Kaye Quinn, who I’ve recently had the pleasure of working with, recommends Bryon Quertermous. I’ve researched him and would definitely consider working with him. I’ve heard good things about Crystal Wattanabe too, but I haven’t worked with her personally. There are a lot of good professionals out there, it’s just a matter of finding someone who offers the services you need at prices that fit your budget.

AB:       Where did you find trusted, experienced, beta readers, who would give you honest feedback on your book?

JW:     Yes! Absolutely. For beta readers, I’d suggest asking people you trust. I would not recommend searching for beta reading services. Now, you can find editors who also beta read for a fee. I think Crystal does this, in fact. So that’s always an option. Finding a critique group is ideal, but that’s really hard to do. A critique partner is a blessing, truly, but people are busy. So it’s not always easy to find someone you can “trade services” with. But be open to trading beta reads with author friends.

Important note: Understand that your author friends aren’t the people you’re selling your book to. And remember that the people you are selling your book to probably don’t want to read the early drafts. Just be aware of what kind of relationship you have with a person before you ask them to beta read for you.

AB:     In running, many runners face a wall, where they wish to give up and quit. They have to dig deep and push through the wall. Writers sometimes face the same hurdles. While writing your book, were there times when you wanted to scrap the entire thing and start over, or not publish the book at all? For new writers, who may also face this wall, what advice do you have for them to push past these feelings?

JW:     More often than giving up on a specific work, I hear about writers who want to give up on writing period. How to get past that is different for every writer. Our struggles are intensely personal, almost like our own customized hells on Earth. We face our own demons. And we find our own paths. If there’s one thing we can all benefit from knowing and remembering, it’s that this whole creative business is a cycle. Sometimes, you’re up. And when you’re up, everything just seems to fall into place. Sometimes, you’re down. That’s when the doubt comes. You just have to remember that the “up” is coming around soon. It always does. So keep writing. Or take a break. Do whatever it is you need to do until you cycle back around to a good place. And in the meantime, be kind to yourself.

AB:     Everyone has something they wish they knew when they started in a new field. If you could share one lesson you learned to avoid or one experience you wish you could re-do to make your writing experience better, what would it be? Feel free to share the experience leading up to the lesson and what made you choose the path you took.

JW:     I think the one piece of advice I wish I hadn’t taken is something that’s unique to me, really. I hear “write it down” often. It’s good advice for pretty much everyone, it seems. But it’s not good advice for me. If I pursue every idea I get, write down everything so I don’t forget any of it, I’ll never get anything done. Last year, I took what was for me a bold step and decided NOT to write down any ideas. To simply let them drift by while I focused on one project. And I learned an invaluable lesson for me: I can get shit done by focusing on what’s in front of me. And those ideas that seemed brilliant at the time? Some of them stuck with me. They’re still with me, even though I didn’t write them down. They’re a part of me, and they won’t go away simply because I didn’t acknowledge them. So that’s one thing I wish I knew from the start. To pursue only those ideas that really stuck with me. And to focus on one project until it was completed. That’s the hardest part for many authors, finishing what they start. But necessary for growth.

AB:     What work, besides your own, are you reading right now or have you read recently?

JW:     I’m editing a few anthologies and a couple novels right now. There’s Mosaics 2, UnCommon Origins, a Clones anthology, and a Hotel anthology. I’m editing Cairn Rodriguez’ Solstice series, the first of which is The Last Prospector, and The Potter’s Daughter by Daniel Smith. I’m looking forward to projects with Meg Collett and Ken Mooney, both of whom I read whether I’m editing them or not. I’m always up for reading anything by Pavarti K. Tyler or Alex Nader. I recently started reading Susan Kaye Quinn too. I read The Third Daughter and loved it. Which reminds me, I need to write a review. So many good authors to read, so little time.

AB:     If you were on a desert island and only allowed one book or other written word, what written word would it be and why?

JW:     A “how to” survival guide!

AB:     It’s time to give yourself a shout out. It’s time to dig deep and show your fans what you have. What would you like your fans to look for on shelves now? Where can they find your work? Is there anything else you would like your fans to know?

JW:     Thanks for asking! The box set of Sin Eater is available now at Amazon, along with other works I’ve written and edited. Check out my Amazon Author Page for details. Readers who are fond of dark (and sometimes sexy) fantasy can follow my blog at west1jess.com for updates on my new releases and occasional freebies. Authors can follow my blog at west1jessedits.com to keep in touch and schedule consultations. I also write a monthly blog at Kate Tilton’s Connecting Authors and Readers. You can find my posts at her blog here. The easiest way to keep up to date with all my comings and goings is to follow me at Twitter or Facebook as West1Jess. Fair warning, I’m not a PG-13 type of person, and my online persona reflects that. Proceed with caution. 😉

Thanks again for hosting me on your blog today!

AB: And thank you, Jessica West, for allowing us the opportunity to highlight your work today.

I’m sure our readers have learned so much from you, about your work, and how to start writing for themselves.

To our readers, and especially new writers, please take the time to support the authors who support you. Take time to read their books, follow them on social media, and of course, share their pages.

Until next time…be safe, be kind, and always be happy!

 

It’s a spring break party for nature! Everyone’s Invited! There’s bird porn on my deck!

/ Amanda / Leave a comment

(First came the announcement, then came the show)

Formal announcement sent to every animal:

Animal Spring break

Come one! Come All!

It’s the Woodstock of the animal kingdom! Music, sex, and rock and roll, plus a natural hormone high like no other!

The main act playing this year is The Birds and Bees. The Beetles and Rocking Robin will follow with their summer loving music. The Monkeys have been invited, but unfortunately they’ve already booked for a gig overseas, and can’t travel this time of the year. Don’t worry, at midnight, everyone will be treated to the Three Dogs Howling at Night.

The entire schedule of entertainers is way too long to list here, but here are some of the fantastic acts attendees can expect to enjoy. The Beastie Babes are back and are really looking good this year. The Ants and The Roaches will be in a secret location playing a set just for their insect fans. Due to customer input, and the unfortunate incidents of last year, the Event Coordinator decided The Hornets and The Wasps should perform during different  weeks. This works great for all attendees! You can plan your mating rituals around both venues.

Be sure to check your schedule for all entertainment events and especially look at the specific mating areas you are assigned too. Breaking into another species’ mating territory can get ugly and ruin all the beautiful events we have planned for you this year (Cats, I’m looking at you).

It will be a 4 week party you do not want to miss. (Seriously, the fate of your descendants depend on you being there).

Have fun and happy mating!!

 

************************

(Me this afternoon)

Somewhere I missed a memo. When I woke up today (yes, it was 1 pm, don’t hate),  I didn’t know I was going to be presented with some X-rated action.

It was a normal afternoon. I pulled myself to the kitchen, walking less like a human and more like Frankenstein. I made myself a cup Heaven’s juice. That sweet, sweet, berry called coffee. The elixir of life. With each sip I became more like myself and less like a cross between a human and a big ball of crazy. I looked outside and saw the chickens having a good time. I figured I would walk out and see what they were up to.

As I walked to the back door, I heard a ruckus. Living in the country, you learn to ignore noises which do not include screams of help or screams from your personal animals. You learn the difference between a ruckus and an emergency. If I jumped up for every noise, I would never get anything done.

Let me address these noises for a moment.

Drunk spring breakers

City people think it’s quiet in the country. HA! In the spring, it’s a fuck feast of biblical proportions.

It’s nature’s version of spring break and every animal, far and wide, are invited. All furry, scaly, and feathered creatures meet in backyards across the northern
hemisphere and become insanely high on their own hormones.

This leads to the biggest interspecies orgy ever. If you don’t believe the animals are a little crazy this time of year, you’ve never seen a horse trying to mount a cow or a turtle trying to mount a rock before realizing things aren’t working as they should.

Growing up in the country you do not need sexual education in school to teach you about the birds and bees, you see it every day from around mid-March to May.

Trust me. An animal party is like no other party on the planet. Animals are not shy about showing their passions and mating potential for each other. In fact, many species believe the noisier they are the better their chances are to get laid. Honestly, if an animal can’t get laid during the spring, they have some serious issues, and need all the help they can get. This leads to drunken songs of love, passion, and mating with the best female animals they can find.

Sex machine

Hey human ladies, we should take some lessons. These male animals work really hard to attract their mates. Only the strongest, smartest, and most talented wins the hand of their mate. Well, except snakes…… those MTHFRS. Damn. They have a huge mating ball around a female and  get what they can when they can. It’s insane watching them during spring break. Geez guys. Take a chill pill or something.

But I digress. I was talking about how loud animals are in the spring.

Male frogs are showing the lady frogs how loud they can sing, Owls are looking for their nest mates by hooting throughout the night, chipmunks are scurrying around, giving each other high fives on the way to new and exciting orgies, and of course, my own chickens are doing it doggie style (OK. Chicken style), two to three times a day.

I swear, my yard and deck becomes the natures version of a Holiday Inn (I serve free meals and water, so we are a few steps above an hourly flop house).

Everywhere I look the animals are having the greatest times of their life.

Hell, I’ve even dug up my garden, innocently planting pretty flowers, only to find two or three worms wrapped around each other. I’m pretty sure they were not cuddling for pillow talk or worm yoga. They were making babies. Just think a worm doesn’t even need another worm. They can make a baby all by themselves.

Dan Quayle would have an issue with this family plan. — Yes, I used the reference to his view on single parents due to his last name. I couldn’t help it. His platform against single parents was the main headline back in the day. Go ahead young parents, I know you are Googling his name. I’ll wait. ——– (Jeopardy music playing in the background) — OK. Good. You’re back. — See, this blog isn’t only about jokes, venting, and my opinionated views of the news, there is a little education along the way too.

Okay. Where was I? Animal sex? Springtime? Dan Quayle? Dammit. No. hang on. Ahhh! I was talking about the ruckus on my back deck.

With all this sex occurring each spring and in my own backyard you would think I’ve seen it all and expect it all. Nope. I see something new each year.

I open the door and step on the back deck and what do I see? There are two birds pounding it out on the actual deck (not in the air as sometimes they are). They were getting it on like, well, like birds do. Normally birds will fly off when disturbed. Not in my back yard. Not during mating season. For 4 weeks in the spring, and a few weeks in the fall, I’m just an intruder in my own backyard. I feel like I should be walking around with trays of snacks or something. Maybe next year, I’ll lay out a feast and bring in Kenny G to play for the attendees.

I looked at them and they looked at me. They didn’t move. They weren’t scared off at all.

Seriously, they looked at me with such disdain, I was actually embarrassed to catch them in the act. You know the feeling you get when you come home too soon and find your roommate with a one night stand, whom you’re never supposed to meet? Yea. It was like that. I was still in shock that they didn’t fly away immediately, which made me stare a little longer than was comfortable for anyone in this situation.

Finally the spell was broken and they gave me this look like, “Do you mind giving us some privacy?” I quickly turned and went back in the house, where I drank my coffee in my living room, uncomfortable listening to bird sex noises out my back window.

If you think listening to your roommate or neighbor get it on with a one night stand is strange, imagine the strange feeling I had when I turned up my music so I wouldn’t embarrass my yard mates while they squawked, tweeted, and sung out their passions to the entire backyard.

I was thinking, “Damn dude. Hang a feather on the door or something next time.”

After a very short time, they flew their separate ways. If I’m not mistaken, I saw her wink at him as she flew away and I’m pretty sure he headed to his house for a smoke. I know his feathers were more fluffy than they were only a few minutes ago and they both seemed very happy about the experience.

Lions getting it on

Well, Have fun birdies. It’s spring break for nature! It’s the yearly nature party and everyone is invited!

Awww…… This has me thinking, I’m pretty sure those birds were not using protection.

IMG_8683.JPG

These are my own chicken babies due in just 10 days

I get the feeling, in about 2 weeks, my yard will be less like spring break and more like a nursery during the baby boom. Yes. I think it’s time to set out the bird seed, water, and some yarn so those new parents can build a strong nest and take care of their babies.

** I do believe I need to write a blog post explaining how to best prepare your own yard for all those babies created during natures biggest baby making season of the year. **

Time to plan for all those pretty babies!

First, I need to finish my coffee……. and take a cold shower.

As always… Be safe, be kind, and always be happy!

Fibro Fog is a pain in the…?

/ Amanda / Leave a comment

Do. I. Even. English?  Words. I. Say. What. Are. Those?

(I call it the CPT Kirk Syndrome)

** Hey look! I made a meme! **

 

Writer with Fibro Fog

Some examples of writing with Fibro Fog are;

  • Writing this way is like digging my way out of quicksand. Once you finally dig out the correct word or sentence, you’re too exhausted to try it again… but you do.
  • Anyone who has ever tried writing anything with a messed up memory, or on strong medications, is basically into S & M for the brain. The pleasure and pain of writing something really good is addicting.
  • When I’m in deep Fibro Fog, or on pain medications, I write like CPT Kirk after a few bottles of Romulan Ale.
  • I use Google like a guest on Family Feud or Jeopardy, “Something to read you would normally find in a Doctor’s office?” “What is a magazine?”
  • I literally just used Google to write this one short blog to look up, “What is the game show hosted by the guy named Steve?” and “What is the illegal drink on Star Trek?

If I ever do publish a book, the publisher will need a team of editors just to decipher what the hell I’m writing.

Well, I’m off to write more gibberish and max out my Goggle searches.

 

As always… Be safe, be kind, and always be happy!

 

RA, Fibro, & CFS! OH MY!

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I finally woke up feeling half way decent today. Not as much pain as yesterday and my head is clearer. Let’s see how long this one holds. I might get some cleaning done today… or not. 🙂

RA and Fibro are the strangest animals (especially when combined with CFS).

 

Fibro Pain 2

Imagine waking up one day and you have the flu. You are achy, tired, feverish, sick, headaches, etc. Then, a few days later you wake up, and you can feel the flu “break.” You have a little energy, your mood is better, and your pain is a little lower. Each day after you feel a little better, and pray like hell you don’t go through that again anytime soon.

Well, RA is kind of like the flu, except, it comes back over and over. Not only that, but RA makes Fibro flare up really bad, and the only thing you wish to do is lay in bed with ice packs and heating pads, eating soup and crackers.

Ughh…. It sucks so bad because you never know when one of those down times are going to hit or how long it will last. The constant changing weather certainly doesn’t make it any better.

Putting together RA, Fibro, and CFS, is like getting the flu, after being run over by a truck, beat by a baseball bat, dropped from a bridge, and being forced to stay up for 72 hours, all while on fire, then being forced to participate in life with a smile on your face…… while on fire.

 

Fibro Pain 1

 

I’m not sure who has my VOODOO doll, but I swear whatever I did to piss you off, you can stop poking me now, and stop it with the fire already! DAMMIT… while you are pulling at my hair, at least take the time to scratch my back…. yea… a little to the left…. oh yea baby, Right there!

 

Voodoo Doll Pain 1

 

As always… Be safe, be kind, and always be happy!

Spring time has arrived (March 20, 2016) … but no one told Mother Nature

/ Amanda / 2 Comments

Here we are in the Good Ole Rocky Top state with Spring finally on us. We are cleaning our yards and preparing our gardens, but Mother Nature has not kicked Jack Frost out of bed yet. Jack Frost is like a bad date. He showed up one night when Mother Nature was having a weak moment, she fed him ate breakfast, and months later, even when the conversation has become strained, he will not leave. He has icicles everywhere, even hanging in the shower, the cat is not happy about the cold belly rubs he gives her, and honestly, any intimate time with a man who can break at any moment, has becoming tiring. How many times can he sing jack Frost songs anyway?!

Well, Mother Nature, it’s time to hand Jack Frost an iced cup of coffee, his bags, and a muffin (because we aren’t animals, are we? ) and show him to the door. He needs to find somewhere else to reside and cause chaos for the next 6 months. I hear the snow ladies in Antarctica are looking for a cool guy to hang with for a few months. I’m sure ole Jack will do just fine living in the snow caves  and bring them lots of stories of his time in the Northern Hemisphere. So, off you go Jack, see you next year.

Back to our Spring and Mother Nature. Come on lady, get it together. There are plenty of men who would love to pollinate your flowers and tumble in the hay. You just need to warm up that cold heart and let us live!

I really need for you to wake up! I’ve got tomatoes which are calling my name!

This is what we are supposed to look like now…..

 

Spring time is here!

 

I’m saddened to say, this is actually what we look like! Our wonderful Mother is very confused with what date it is. Someone needs to let her know I do not want to freeze on Easter Morning!

Spring in TN is confused

I love the sunshine! I’m like a flower! I need sun to blossom and become bright and cheerful again! I don’t want any more cold days!!

I’m routing for you Mother Nature! You can do it! I need you! We need you!! Everyone needs you!! Show us your sweet face and your touch of grace!

My old bones are counting on it!

 

As always… Be safe, be kind, and always be happy!

 

 

Retire to the Philippines – Become an Expat

/ Amanda / 2 Comments

With the elections in the US, and unrest throughout the world, many people are looking for a new adventure or even a new place to call their permanent  home.

One of the great places to retire is the Philippines.

The Philippines offer’s great medical service, including Veteran’s care for the US military.

There are many wonderful beaches. With more than 7000 islands, you can spend your day swimming, diving, fishing, sailing, hiking, or just relaxing.

Banking isn’t an issue. You have plenty of ways to process money from one country to the other.

Housing is modern and built with storms in mind. Plus, there are many neighborhoods specifically designed for Ex-pats. The homes will include a variety of all the modern conveniences we have in the United States, to include AC, Heat, internet,  and cable TV. But who is going to be home all the time, when you have an entire new country to explore. Fishing, swimming, and late night family parties are normal activities.

If you are craving some night life, there are plenty ways to have a great time in the cities and shop in local malls.

If you wish to learn more about moving and living in the Philippines, or going for an extended holiday, be sure to contact my friends; Mary Rose  and Eli van Ingen.

My friend and her husband are Retirement Ambassadors for the Philippines. If you want to know more, she can help you get the paperwork you need.

Here are the photos of them at the recent International Retirement Conference held in Berlin.

 

 

These two are Travel GURUS. They travel the world and have become experts on airlines, hotels, trips, and where to retire for your future.

If you are serious about retiring to the Philippines,  please contact them at their various social media pages.  She enjoys introducing new people to her home country.

Here is her page directly dealing with Visas and Requirements —

http://www.vaningenmanagement.com/index.htm

Here is her official Retirement Ambassador Page.

https://www.facebook.com/Retire-in-The-Philippines-143521…/…

 

As always… Be safe, be kind, and always be happy!

 

 

 

Frida Kahlo and Pain

/ Amanda / 4 Comments

Today has been shit. Just shit. I spent two days going like crazy, then I spent two days with my brain screaming out in pain. Of course, I don’t scream. If I screamed the way I felt, someone would lock me away in a shiny new room, with pretty white walls. So, I write.

My writing might be crap on days like this, but mostly I’m able to pull together a few sentences which adhere to the English language. It’s always a struggle. I want to write coherently, but it’s either I’m sleepy from medications or in pain because I did not take the medications on time. That balance always leaves me frustrated and pissed off.

Hello, Fate! This was not the future I planned for, and it sure wasn’t the body I wanted. I want an exchange.

One of the fun things I really do enjoy is looking at art. I’ve always admired how other humans can put together colors in what seems like random spots, yet, in the end it turns out so perfectly.

Two of my favorite artists are Van Gogh and Frida Kahlo. They inspire me when I feel my worst. I have to remember, even when they felt nothing but pain, agony, and shame, they produced great works of art, which are breath taking. I may never be a Van Gogh or a Frida, but I can admire their work and draw inspiration from their stories and their work.

Just for the record, I feel like this today……

 

Frida Kahlo

There is pain, then there is PAIN! The constant change of the weather is pulling and pushing my inner body in ways which feel like some mid-evil torture chamber. Sometimes I think if there were no weather changes, I could face the constant drum of pain, then I remember, there is no place without weather changes, and this is going to be my life, day in and day out.

So, I go to sleep. In my dreams I hope and pray the weather does become nicer in time. I can only hope my pain decreases from this scream to a manageable roar.

Until then, I will somehow put words together in coherent sentences, and call it writing. Maybe Frida and Vincent would be proud.

Until next time….. Be safe, be kind, and always be happy.

 

 

Protesting in America

/ Amanda / Leave a comment

Protesting in America;

 

TBT - Me in DC 2010

One of the things I miss, from being younger, is protesting.

Not just the whole POTUS protesting thing. I probably wouldn’t go to one of those. But I would gladly get vocal on local causes or state causes.

There is a feeling I love about not only having the right to stand up for something I believe in, but also getting out and holding signs and letting my voice counts.

Some people might think it’s a waste of time, or it looks silly standing on the Capitol steps, or even a Town Hall steps, holding signs for random causes, but to me it’s a pretty awesome feeling.

As long as we are peaceful about it, It’s one of the acts, as Americans, we can get out and do, and not worry about being hunted down, or arrested for our voice.

I know America is in a mess at the moment, and we are all over the news for crazy stuff during protests, but the world doesn’t see the small groups standing in front of the court houses, the lone protester standing by their home, or a group of young mother’s standing on the state capitol steps, letting the politicians know what they want in their area.

Those are the photos and the films which should be shown to the world. Those are the people who make the real change in everyday communities, cities, and states. That is what it means to be American.

It shouldn’t be about race, sex, or class, it should be about making America better for everyone. Making a country better for everyone, isn’t going to look the same for everyone, and this is where peaceful rallies and protests come in. I don’t care if someone agrees with my stance on an issue or not, but I do care if they have the right to voice their opinion in a legal manner.

I may not agree with someone, but I will fight for their right to voice their opinion just as loudly as I will voice mine.

Now that the weather is warmer, I need to get out and support a rally and join a protest. I need to take lots of photos of even the smallest rallies, so the world can see how regular everyday people are accomplishing huge things, even with the smallest voices.

So, the next time you want to change something, the next time you disagree with something, or the next time you see someone being treated ugly and unfairly, let your voice be heard. Create a FB page, write a letter to the editor, and always keep some poster board around, and make a sign!

When the smallest voices are allowed to be heard, that is America.

 

Until next time….. Be safe, be kind, and always be happy.

 

 

I don’t have a flipping clue what I’m doing

/ Amanda / Leave a comment

Can we all just agree I have no clue what I’m doing? Not just with WordPress, but with life, writing, retirement, hell, I can’t even figure out what I want to eat for breakfast anymore.

Okay. WordPress really is giving me a headache tonight, but that was just the straw which broke the camel’s back.

My whole life I’ve been secure in who I was, what I was, and where I would be at this point in my life. Yea. That shit flew out the window a few years ago and I’ve been flapping around on the dock ever since.

I know. I know. I’m middle aged and I must be facing the dreaded mid-life crises. Well, whatever the hell it is, I don’t like it. I thought I could avoid it. Hell no. This crap has hit me in the face with all the sagging arms, chicken chins, and wrinkled skin you could imagine. I went to bed one night, really cool and hip. I woke up the next morning with a house dress on, floppy shoes, grey hair, and the ability to sneeze with my legs crossed so tight, I could flatten a quarter. What the actual hell is up with that? Wisdom my ass. I want my body back. While we’re at it. I would like the ability to drive more than 2 hours without stopping at every rest stop. Forget driving cross-country, I can’t even make it to the next town without stopping for a snack, a bathroom break, and asking for directions at least 3 times just to exit the damn parking lot.

A few of the things I have discovered over the last few years include; I’m not as smart as I thought I was, I’m not ever going to fit into a size 12 again (nor a 14), and red wine gives me a headache. Oh. To top it off, I’ll probably die a cat lady and when the police find my body, I’m sure one of the cats will have feasted on my face. The whole “cat eating my face off” actually doesn’t bother me as much as the fact I will probably be found naked (after falling out of the shower or something), and my death will be one of those stories told to rookies for years to come.

It will be the briefing where they tell the rookies not to upset the old fellow in the corner too much, because he still has flashbacks to the old, bloated, naked, cat lady he found, 2 weeks after she was dead, broken from her bathroom fall, with her face eaten off by her favorite feline.

See, that’s not how I want to be remembered. Geez. Let me pass away having really great sex or something. Let the police tell the story of the 80 year old woman passing away in the bed of her young lover. Anything would be better than being remembered as the lady who gets her face eaten off my her cats.

Where was I? Oh yes. Mid-life crises. WTH? So, here I am. I know everything there is to know about the Army. I can quote regulations, make the best spreadsheets and power-points seen on planet Earth, I know how to fight, shoot, and plan all the troop movements any Risk player would need to win the cold war. Then it all ends.

Retirement. Now I’m trying to learn what the hell a Twitter is (news flash, not a bird), how to use a blog (not where you would find mud – I know. It’s “bog”), and what the hell is up with all the new phones? Must we have a new phone every year? Why does every new phone come with different cables? Hell. I finally learned to use my old phone and acquire enough cables that I have one in each room, car, and even a solar charger. What the hell am I supposed to do with all these cables now? Is it really so flipping hard for the phone makers (Apple, I’m looking at you) to make new phone without requiring we invest our life savings to replace all the cords needed to run these things? Let’s not forget the covers? I finally had a cover I loved. Now I need a new cover. What the hell is up with that? I guess Amazon is really going to love me when I am done trying to upgrade from my 5 year old phone to this new one.

Oh, don’t worry. I’m not sponsored by either Apple, nor Amazon. Those just so happen to be the only two companies I know how to use at all, so they are the only ones I can speak about in any sort of way that doesn’t sound like a 5 year old. Never-mind, scratch that. 5 year old children know more about this tech stuff than I do.

Okay. Back to the point of this post. As a way to have free post-retirement therapy , I started a blog 1.5 years ago, and switched to WP damn near 1 year ago (around March 20, 2015). I figured who better to give me therapy ideas than the people who blog everyday, and work their feelings out with each other. Like group therapy in your PJs. Well, as soon as I switched over to WP, I lost a few followers, and even lost some of my blog entries. They weren’t that great anyway, so no big lose. But the entries I made here were somewhere fun and open. Now, some of them are messed up.

While look back over my archived blog entries, I realized some of them are missing, deleted, or the photos are no longer work because I did not format the entry correctly or upload the photos correctly. Please bare with me, if you see huge gaps in my previous year blogging, it’s because I was too stupid to know how to use WP on a regular basis, I couldn’t remember by password and I was too tired to figure it out, or, due to my own blogging and format errors, I’ve had to go back and make some of my prior entries private. Those blogs aren’t fit for man or beast at the moment. It will take me some time to fix them, if I fix them at all. We may be stuck with just going forward with what I had and fixing a few hear and there when I have time. Until then, let’s get back to my original issue.

What is a divorced, middle-aged, woman supposed to do when her plans went complete off the rails? Well, I guess I need to find a different set of tracks and a different train to ride on. Sounds very poetic doesn’t it? It isn’t. I’m dreaming of another life, and I’m trying to convince myself not to chunk it all out the window, become a hobo, and grab the midnight train to no where.

It sounds very romantic until reality sets in. There’s a few issues with that plan. I’m warm where I am, my cat makes me happy, I like my bed, and I really like indoor plumbing. Either I’m becoming senile, or I have figured out middle age isn’t so bad after all. I have the modern convinces of home, which are nice and comfy, and I have coffee here. Yep. I do believe the idea of middle aged is settling in just fine.

There seems to be one more issue. I’ve got to make this 40 something brain work on 5 year old equipment. The learning curve is overwhelming on some days. I will have to knock it out little by little. …. or throw it out the damn window and start over. Learning it is cheaper. I need to save the tech money for possible new wheelchairs, walkers, beds, you know, those kind of silly toys old folks need. I really want a sports car at 80, so we’ll see. Wheelchair or sports car? Let’s hope fate love me. Until the time I’m in a wheelchair, or in a medical bed, I still have a very long way to and I need to figure out these crazy issues with  my WP.

I swear, before I figure it out, I really think this thing is going to force me to take up drinking. Anything other than cheap red wine will be OK.

Until next time….. Be safe, be kind, and always be happy.