Time to send a huge thank you to those who read my words and support me

I like to take the time to let folks know how much I appreciate them and today is one of those days. My journey has not been easy, but it becomes much easier when I know I have friends all over the world who cheer me on and support me as I am.

Thank you for reading -- 12July2016

As many people know, from previous entries, when I first started this blog, it was my way to stay connected to the world, voice my opinions (without alienating all my friends and family on Facebook), and it provided me with the mental support I needed so badly.

I was an empty shell of myself and I didn’t know how to find my way back. Sure I put on the face and the mask we all wear. I smiled when needed and held polite conversation with the best of them, but life had finally taken it’s toll on my spirit. I was broken; completely and utterly broken. So much had happened in my life and I had put up with so much crap, I thought eventually my life would even out, and maybe, just maybe, I could have some time to myself where I wasn’t feeling tortured by fate. Just as I thought that time had come for me, fate brought me to my knees once again with pain and an uncertain future.

Just as I was “making it” in life, my body turned on me and my future plans came to a screeching halt. I was diagnosed with some pretty serious stuff.

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, many other medical conditions, and so many painful injuries, I could be the walking final exam for a ICD 10 coder.

Medical Conditions memeI could teach new nurses on how to start IVs, give shots, and how to take blood pressure in the lower leg or lower arm (Yes. These are appropriate ways to take blood pressure and it hurts less than upper arm.) I know more about my conditions than many medical professionals do. Sometimes that sucks, but sometimes it works to my favor.

I was so healthy for the majority of my life, that this was a huge shock to my mental well-being. It’s like fate decided, “Oh shit. We forgot about her. Let’s catch up for lost time.” Within just a few short years, I went from being perfectly healthy at 39 (I have the full physical to prove it) to disabled at 45. I went from working two very important jobs for the government, to barely being able to tie my shoes. It was hard getting used to this new life, but what choice did I have? I could either crawl in a corner and give up, or keep fighting. Let’s just say the corner looked pretty good for a little while. In fact, escaping to a blanket fort is not outside the realm of possibilities on any given day.

I’ve been dealing with these medical issues for a few years now and I’m almost to a point where my “old life” has finally transitioned to my “new normal.” It’s been interesting to say the least. I’ve learned a lot about myself, others, and how the world really works when you need people the most.

Because I was always active and high spirited, it was hard to accept a life of constant pain, medications, doctor appointments, dealing with insurances, evil people, and a life being controlled by a disease I could not cure. You learn so much when you have to depend on others for help, but mostly learn how weak you can be, and how strong you are also. There are no third options when dealing with disabilities, you either fall and never get back up, or you get up, time and time again, to fight another day. I have fought through some serious stuff in my life, but this last 5 years have been the test of who I really am. I have fought harder than I ever thought I could, with less backing than I’ve ever had. There were many days when I honestly didn’t think my body was going to let me keep going. There were days when it took all I had just to stand up straight and walk 5 more steps. Hell, I still fight everyday to keep going and I worry everyday I won’t be strong enough to face what comes next, but I do face it, and just like I have always fought bad thing in life, I continue fighting this.

When I first received my diagnosis, I already knew something was wrong, but I wasn’t sure what it was. I felt as though my life force was draining out of me and pretty soon I would disappear in an explosion of pain, but my mind was still strong and I was going to fight whatever had come my way. Or so I thought.

I faced the diagnosis with the same gusto as I do any problem in life. The very first thing I did was read as much as I could about my diseases and injuries, then I wrote down everything I could find and made a plan. My plan was foolproof. Diet, exercise, vitamins, medications, and so much more. My entire life had always been one long “to do list” and I knew I could tackle this  too! Boy, was I wrong.

There are many aspects of my physical well being I can control, but there are many I can’t control too. For instance, I never knew medications would have such a huge impact on my life. Medication memeI get about 2 hours of “normal me” per day. That is in an entire 24 hour period. I’m either sick, tired, hungry, not hungry, wide awake, shaky, I have a rebound headache, I’m dehydrated, I’m sweating, I feel ill, I’m too hot or too cold, or I have a combination of all of them.

These are all due to combinations of necessary medications.

I’ve had people ask me, “If the medications make you feel so bad, why take them?” I guess I don’t have to take them. I could suffer in bed all the time and die a very early agonizing death. Instead I’ve chosen to live longer, but experience only half the life I did before. Honestly, I think that’s a pretty good trade off. There are people who are way sicker than I am and who have suffered longer, yet they’re still kicking ass in the world, so I guess I can too. No need to give up now. Not when life is getting so high tech and so much fun (Pokemon Go anyone?).

Another way my life has changed is mostly due to fatigue. I’m not talked about being tired after work and sleeping until you feel better. I’m talking about dragging your body from one place to another like dead weight. I’m talking about feeling like you have the flu, every single day of your life.

FatigueI’m talking about taking a shower and needing a nap. I’m talking about going hungry or thirsty because the distance from the living room to the kitchen is just too far away for the energy you have left for the day. I’m talking about sleeping for 10 hours and your battery only filling up a quarter of what normal would be. That is fatigue and I have it in spades. Of the many issues we have, many autoimmune patients complain of fatigue (mental and physical) as being the number one reason for not enjoying life. Consider this, when severe pain is as high as we experience, but fatigue is one of the main reasons for complaints, then you must understand the level of exhaustion patients are experiencing. This is why many patients really enjoy floating in water. Just taking the weight off of their body and not having to carry around their bodies, even for a short time feels so good.

These and many other issues were greater than I could ever comprehend. It took me a very long time to mentally accept I could not control everything about my body and I would have to accept the bad days along with the few good days. I would have to adjust my life to my body, not my body to my life.

It wasn’t easy. Trust me, there were tears, cries to every god who would listen, and there were time of solitude, when I just wanted to shut the world out and allow myself to feel this pain alone. I needed time to stop fighting the pain and accept it as part of myself.

I felt as if an alien had taken over my body and I was being forced to share my body and my brain with the new entity. Once joined, there was no way to separate the two, without killing me, the host.

(There are some Stargate similarities in here, but I don’t want to bore those who are not familiar with the show.)

I think the hardest part of all was seeing the face of Doctors and other medical personnel when treating me for my conditions. To them, they see me as another patient, and having this alien thing in my body, using my body as it’s host, was nothing new to them. I had become only one of a few million who carried this disease or one of many more millions who suffered from one of all the autoimmune diseases. To them I was just another patient, but to me, I was shocked no one was more surprised I was invaded by a disease I did not want and did not ask for. Once it’s part of you, that’s it. Your body and brain are split between the real you and this entity which is trying to control all aspects of who you are. This new “thing” demands to be heard and demands attention. There is no ignoring the demands on my mind and my body. It’s a war that cannot be won. The host will eventually lose. The only thing a patient can do is slow the progression  of the hostile takeover by staying engaged in life and fighting to find a new normal. It’s hard, but it can be done.

I wanted to find my new normal, but I had no idea where to look. I spent my entire life as my children’s mom, a Soldier, and a government employee. I had owned businesses before, but I was always very healthy during those times, and I could work 50 -60 hours a week to make sure our lives stayed on track. This time it was different. I was divorced, my children were grown, and now my career was gone. I was lost and I had to find my way back.

I truly believe every human has the responsibility to give something back to this world (to the best of their abilities) and I knew I wasn’t doing that just sitting around feeling sorry for myself. At the time of my diagnosis, I felt like I had lost everything I knew about myself. I lost my career, the energy for life, many of my old friends, and all the plans I had for my future were now gone. I basically had to start from scratch, learning who I was, and planning for this new future, in this broken body. I didn’t like feeling like a problem. Even if it was in some small way, I wanted to help and become part of the solution.

I needed to do something to give me hope  so I wasn’t always focused on my medical problems. I had gotten this far and handled the maze of medical care, maybe others needed to know how too.

I wanted to share my own struggles and maybe give a little hope to others. I wanted to stay engaged in life, keep my spirits up, and stay involved in politics and activism (especially medical activism for Veterans). By voicing my concerns, and allowing others to do the same, I felt like I could do something for the world, but I didn’t know how.

With everything going on in my life and dealing with my healthy, the only way I could be heard was to start my own blog. So, that’s exactly what I did.

Writing about human equality and giving a place for others to voice their concerns was the only thing I could think of at the time to continue giving back to the world (I’ve also picked up painting and my life passion of photography again) and I’m so glad I did. I’ve met some really wonderful people along the way and this has given me a place to get all the insane conversations I have in my head down on paper.

If you haven’t noticed, I also love memes. I collect as many as I can. Memes are just the awesome little pick-me-ups I need during the day. If you have any you wish to share, feel free to put them in the comments. I will gladly save them in my meme folder and use them in future updates. I particularly like sarcastic, funny, and positive memes. If all three of those criteria are in one meme, that is meme gold!

I love that I have people in this world who spread love and compassion to everyone around them.

When the world news is so sad and so soul crushing, that you can’t even breath, there are many people out in this world with smiles on their face, kindness in their soul, and compassion in their heart. These are the people who make life worth living. These are the people who remind me everything will be okay.

Through this blog and my social media accounts, I’ve met some of the nicest people you could ever imagine. There are so many great people in this world and they are doing some wonderful things to make the world a better place to live.

Thank you

With all of this said, I want to send my deepest appreciation to everyone who reads my blog, shares my blog, sends me positive comments, shares their blog with me, and a huge thank you to the people who so graciously allow me to interview them and highlight their hard work on my blog. I know my blog is in the very early stages of growth, but it means the world to me that so many people have joined me and supported me so far.

You make my life so full of light and happiness. I can’t wait to see what we all accomplish in another year. I think it’s going to be pretty amazing!

 

Until next time…be safe, be kind, and always be happy.

How I found myself in the medical marijuana movement

Get ready for some venting and the use of a few passionate words.
My involvement with the medical marijuana movement started from a very dark place, which still makes me angry. I normally don’t share these years with the public, but sometimes the origin story is necessary to understand the premise of the  passion.
As a staunch advocate for punishments for those involved in the illegal drug trade, I’ve had many people ask me, “How did I became a voice for medical marijuana?”
Simple. I was forced to see chronic pain from the other side.
I was forced into a position of chronic pain and I saw what true abuse of power can do to patients who need real help.
Do I still promote strong punishments for illegal drug trade? Oh yes! The people behind the Fentanyl pills, made to look like regular pain pills, which are killing people right now, should be held up as murderers.
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Those drug dealers are using the new CDC policies to prey on patients who are in pain and have been let down by their government and by their physicians. The drug dealers doing this are using the nationwide panic to purposely kill people with a medication needed by some people to survive. During the Tylenol scare of the 80s, the perpetrator was held up as the murderer, but when drug dealers are killing people based on new policies created by the CDC, the unsuspecting buyers, (the ones the CDC have hurt worse) are being held up as the guilty parties. In reality, it’s the CDC, who behind closed doors, used their infinite uncontrolled power to create criminals from chronically sick citizens (don’t we have enough people in prison in America without forcing normal citizens to become criminals just to survive?).
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The people who stand outside of schools to sell drugs to little children or those who get young girls addicted, only to use them for profit, should be put so far under the jail they should never see the light of day again. My position on those situations have never wavered.
When exactly did my position on medical marijuana change?
It happened while I was in the military. Due to many injuries, back issues, and chronic pain diseases, I was left in severe pain on a daily basis. I was allowed to suffer worse than a lost pet in the county kennel. I explained to my medical team what my goals in life were and what I needed to accomplish these goals. My new Physician Assistant (PA) allowed me to take pain medications for my diseases and I was able to function again. I could spend time with my children, I was attending grad school, conducting limited exercise, maintaining my weight, and working at G3 on my Army base. I was hurt and sick, but with the help of my PS, I was still rocking and rolling. I knew I was slowly making a comeback. Even if I wasn’t going to be 100%, I knew I was fighting this mess and my PA knew how to help me.
Then a new physician came in, CPT C. Brill, a total arrogant asshole if I’ve ever seen one. He wanted to become a holistic physician, so he requested and was approved for a large number of holistic classes, then he commenced to use his patients as his guinea pigs. Now let make this clear, we had no choice. We could not leave him as our physician. There was nothing  we, as his patients, could do about his actions, without causing ourselves even more harm. He was the only PA we were allowed to see, so any medical help we had, went through him. Each time someone complained about him, he would use his power to hurt that person even more. No matter how many complaints he received, he was the experimental holistic doctor on our base and his research (he was about to retire) would take him to the next step in his life. He did not care about his patients. His only care was for his career.
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Let me make it clear, there are some incredibly awesome holistic measures patients can use to help with their diseases; yoga, vitamins, massage, chiropractic medicine, meditation, and more. In fact, I participate in some of these activities when I am able. But when a medical professional forces patients, through lies, intimidation, and abuse of power, to participate in his experiments, then the entire reason for holistic medicine is negated. Bring forced to give up what works for something that doesn’t work (holistic or not) is not healthy for anyone and can cause irreparable harm. I’m not against holistic medication, I’m against the abuse of medical power by medical professionals in any form.
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The first month he took over for our old PA, he took all pain medications away from his patients, except those with deadly cancer. Even patients who had severe back issues, pins and braces in their body, shrapnel in their body, and men and women who suffered with chronic pain diseases and could barely get out of bed, were subjected to his outrageous claims of holistic practices alone treating these conditions.
He did not titrate his patients down, as an ethical PA should. No. He told his patients flat out they would follow his way, period. He came to our unit with an agenda and used that agenda to conduct painful procedures on the Soldiers assigned to his office. There was no reasoning with him at all. On top of his experiments, he also ignored and did not follow orders from real medical doctors, such as specialty physicians, from RA offices or Pain Management offices. Soldiers would come to him with records from capable, respected, Medical Doctors, but due to his position, he could ignore the orders. CPT Brill was an entity by himself, allowed to treat his patients as he wanted, even unethically. He was the epitome of abuse of power and an shining example of how military medical care is handled. The lack of voice Soldiers have concerning experiments that harm them and the military carrying out medical practices contrary to their medical needs is exactly why the Feres Doctrine has outlived it’s usefulness.
We were used as his study patients, no matter how much it negatively affected our lives.
The month he took my medication away I was in incredible pain. I started feeling the difference right away. My joints swelled up, I used my cane more, I dropped out of school, and I could barely get out of bed. My brain could not process the amount of pain I was feeling and started shutting down parts of my body to handle the pain in my vital organs.
My blood pressure soared, my blood tests results were scrambled, my face turned bright white many times, and I was dizzy from pain more often than I admitted in public. I honestly think the damage he inflicted on my body will never fully recover. Severe pain changes your DNA and how your brain processes pain and pain memory. I truly believe CPT Brill ruined any chance I had of making a decent recovery.
It was at that very moment, June 2013, I swore I would never allow a flipping arrogant asshole to have that much control over my life ever again. My life means too much to me, for myself and my children, to allow someone I barely knew, whom I did not approve of, to ever control my life 100% and to put me in a position where I could die and the trusted person would not care. I refuse to be just another number to some jerk who only cares about himself. I owed it to my children to fight for my life against someone who didn’t care about out future, but only his own.
How dare that asshole think he could experiment on me (and other Soldiers, some of whom wanted to take their lives due to the pain they were forced to experience) and think I would go quietly in the night. I may not have been able to move from his care, but I made my anger and dissatisfaction well known.
The problem was, no matter how many complaints Soldiers or I filed (or my family filed) our physical well being was not as important as the experiments the Army was allowing CPT Brill to do to us.
My pain became so grave, my right foot swelled up with CRPS (the most painful disease known to humans) and became paralyzed. The day before my daughter’s 25th birthday, another Doctor on FT Campbell took over my pain care and I was put in the ICU on a Ketamin drip. I missed my daughter’s 25th birthday because an arrogant CPT decided his career and his belief was more important than my life. Well, that would not do for me.
While he was on leave, April 2014, I made an appointment to see another Doctor, a real Doctor on post. She wasn’t the best, but one thing we both had in common, we both disliked CPT BRILL, so I was able to really talk to her about my pain and my right foot. Before my PA came back from leave, she arranged to have me as one of her experimental patients. Yes, I was again an experiment, but this was an experiment I had to agree to and I needed to agree to (at least I was given the choice this time). We had to move fast. We had to get approval, my agreement, and a secured bed before he returned. We did.
I was the very first Ketamin patient on our post. Within 3 days my pain had decreased, my foot was working again, the swelling had gone down, and blood flow returned. If it had not been for her I don’t know where I would be now. That three days of “pain vacation” was what I need to keep going just a few more months. I knew I could survive just long enough to escape his torture.
With all my medical paperwork and my retirement very quickly approaching, I was able to get a referral to a pain clinic to get help in the form of correct pain management, such as shots in my back, an upgraded TENS unit, and yes, medications.
I tell this story because, my fight for medical marijuana did not come to me because I was looking for something to do or because I want to get high (I have still never used MJ at all, even though I could pop over to CO or Washington), or because i want people to be able to get high with no consequences, even alcohol and cigarettes have consequences and they are legal.
I became involved in the movement because I saw how medical professionals can use their positions to harm patients in the worst way possible, they are allowed to watch them suffer and force the patients to beg for help which never comes. Some medical professionals, use their positions and attitudes towards something they are scared of and don’t understand, to justify treating patients as second class citizens and puppets in their own screwed up play.
I have seen first hand what physicians can do when they have full control of a patient’s health care. The bad ones do acquire the “god complex” so deeply ingrained, they can justify anything to force their way on their patients. I have seen first hand the suffering they inflict when only their limited knowledge on a subject is allowed to take control of their treatment of patients. This is especially true when the physician has knowledge that his patients have no options
I’m older, educated, I have confidence, and I’m very vocal about my health care and yet, I was still experimented on, against my will, and there was very little I could do about it. I was a prisoner and victim of abuse of medical power. So, what about the Soldiers and civilian patients who have no voice. What about the constant amount of patients, who are so afraid of breaking the law, they are killing themselves everyday instead of risk being arrested and making it worse for their family members. What about them? How can anyone say those patients, who are in severe pain, don’t deserve at least the same care and dignity we offer to dogs in a pound? Why are patients allowed to suffer with chronic pain and this seems to be an accepted course of action by the CDC and some physicians, when a pet in pain is allowed pain medication because to allow the pet to suffer would be inhumane? How does any of this make sense to any government agency?
When I left the military, I did end up with some really fantastic physicians. I worked hard to build the team I need to work with me as I go through this medical journey. I was once more accomplishing a few things normal people would just call living. I call it having a good day. With each passing month, I was slowly having a few more good days. Not only did I have to fight my diseases, but I also had to drag myself up from the damage inflicted on me by my “trusted” medical professional (unfortunately, he was not the first nor the last to let me down, but the most trusted one who damaged me more greatly than all the others).
It has been exactly 2 years since I was in the ICU and I’m finally gaining back what I lost through underhanded practices. I’m finally (again) on the road back to some sort of normal I can live with. It hasn’t been easy and I’ve worked hard to get here, fighting the some really stupid people every step of the way. This year, I actually danced for the first time in 5 years. That wasn’t because of some holistic treatment given to me by some arrogant physician assistant, trying to boaster his career, no that came from real medical help, in the form of a muti-specialty approach, including the correct and controlled application of various medications.
But, now, the CDC and the FDA have decided they wish to punish all patients and do a sweep of all pain medications from every patient, no matter what the condition of the patient or the judicial background of each patient. We patients are not treated as humans, we are treated with contempt and hatred that we dared survive and we dared to want a life worth living.
Again, I fight for medical marijuana because the CDC and the FDA do not put my life nor my family first in their decision. In fact, they even ignored some of the top rated physicians and made policies behind closed doors, to take control away from the patient and their physician, and give it directly to the CDC. My physician is a top rated physician, who works hard with his patients to allow them the best life they can live with the diseases they must face each and every day. Now he must turn control of his work over to whom ever the CDC deems appropriate for their goals. Not only does this put an extra burden on the patients but, when more physicians are added to the mix ( especially those directed by the CDC and not by the patient), the clear standard of care is lost between a Doctor and a patient. These new policies are doing nothing to punish criminals, but will do so much harm to patients. The CDC is allowed to approve some of the biggest discrimination policies in our nation. As chronic pain patients, we deserve treatment with dignity and respect, not abuse and suspicion.
Why am I a huge advocate of marijuana (all marijuana, even recreational), because I’m tired of government agencies (the CDC, the Army, the FDA) thinking my life, my family, and my future is a flipping game. I’m not a number. I’m a human who also happens to be a patient. I may live in constant pain, but by GOD, the more pain you leave me in with your stupid, outrageous policies, the louder I will get. There are millions of patients just like me. They suffer daily because of the games played with their lives. They sit in dark corners, they lie in bed, they hide from society, and some of them wish they could die. They are the chronic pain patients of our nation and they have rights too.
I’m not a number and I’m not a toy to be played with. The more pain you force on me the more I will fight you until my last breath. CDC, it’s been a long 2 years coming back from what CPT Brill did to me and I won’t give my life up again without a fight.
I have a voice and I’m not afraid to use it.
#patientsnotaddicts  @patientsnotaddicts 

Medical Cannabis Conversation

Over the last few years I’ve had many conversations concerning Medical Cannabis, some of those conversations were with medical professionals. For many, is seems, they can’t think outside the propaganda the FDA sells them.

This is why I can’t take medical marijuana protest people seriously,

The FDA, the CDC, big pharmacies, and many organizations have no monetary incentive to support medical cannabis (not yet), so they don’t. With all the research of medical cannabis around the world and even in the US, politicians still say it’s not enough and they demand more. Yet, they make it hard to obtain research on medical cannabis due to the insane cycle which state cannabis can’t be studied because it’s still listed as schedule 1, the same level as Heroin and LSD.

About a year ago, I a crazy conversation with one of my nurses.

We were talking about all the prescriptions I am on, and I said how dangerous they are. Yet, maybe I could get rid of a few of them if MM was legal in our state.

Me: Medical Marijuana has TONS of medical use. Medical Marijuana has been shown to help with many diseases, MS, Childhood Seizure, chronic pain, Fibromyalgia, everyone on cancer treatments could be saved, and senior citizens feel so much better because they are able to sleep and get real rest, plus so much more.

Nurse: But, it damages the brains in teenagers when used in high doses, so it should be banned.

Me: (SHOCKED LOOK!) — Well, I’m sure as a medical professional you would not give medical marijuana in high doses to someone in the teenage bracket, right? You also don’t give certain medications to pregnant women because of dangers, correct? Plus, and this is proven, chronic pain damages the brain of all ages, babies, teens, adults, and senior citizens (and ME!!), so you want to ban a medication that does more good than bad, because it is bad for the brains of normal teens? Really?

Nurse: Yes.

Me. But, alcohol is highly abused for teenagers, and college kids die every year from alcohol abuse, even when they are old enough to drink it. Plus, alcohol has very few medical purposes and causes more harm than good. Do you want to ban alcohol from everyone to save the children? You’re a nurse, you see the damage alcohol has done to babies and to children, you see the deaths at colleges, you see the deaths of all the people who die in DUIs? Don’t you want to ban something that has no medical use.

Nurse: No. Of course not. Alcohol is regulated but the FDA (It isn’t, but I let that slide) and medical marijuana isn’t regulated by anyone. It will only be used to get high. It’s a gateway drug to more bad behavior and I hope it stays illegal.

ME: (Just shaking my head.) Well, then, you and all the professionals, who believe the same, have been gravely misinformed.

At this point, I asked for another nurse. I actually received wonderful treatment from the second nurse. The second nurse was open to the idea of medical cannabis and explained the various instances in his own family when medical cannabis could help. He explained that his aunt had cancer and he wished he could give it to her and before his father’s death he had Alzheimer’s, and became very upset and agitated towards the end. My nurses explained he would have more than welcomed a medication which would have calmed his father with making him in a zombie everyday.

The difference in the underlying beliefs of the two nurses were like night and day. I believe the difference was personal experience with someone close to them who was truly sick and could be helped with a medication used around the world, but not in certain parts of the US.

This is why people are dying and suffering for no reason in this world! If you are going to argue your point against something that will help millions of people, at least have a good reason for the argument. Alcohol and cigarettes are incredibly harmful, yet they are legal. Cannabis has many benefits for patients, yet this is illegal. There are patients dying and suffering in pain, all over the United States, when one medication could help in so many ways. None of this makes sense to me.

In my opinion, it’s all smoke and mirrors set up to keep patients on only pharmaceutical medications for the rest of their lives, no matter how miserable or short those lives are, they will be owned by pharmaceutical money.

Sick patients are owned and are the slaves of Pharmaceutical companies. Patients make billions of dollars for the big companies, due to committing the one sin in the US which takes away  all rights, the sin of becoming sick. The patients are the slaves and the Doctors are the enforcers.

This relationship will never change until medical cannabis laws are changed in this country.

 

Until next time… be safe, be kind, and always be happy!

Medical Marijuana in the United States: Part 1

As many of my readers know, I support medical marijuana a.k.a. medical cannabis.

Our entire generation was bashed against the head with the whole “Say No To Drugs” campaign. It was this campaign, the war on drugs, and mandatory prison sentences for non-violent offenders, which led to the corrupt and over-burdened privatized prison system we have now. The families of the non-violent offenders and the families of very sick patients have all suffered due to the lies we were told since “Reefer Madness.” The story is long and sad, and with so many political dollars supporting The War on Drugs, it is very hard to pick apart the history from the rumors we were force-fed for so many years.

The laws are broken, the medical system is broken, and even the political process concerning legislation against marijuana is broken.

At this point, I won’t go into too many details concerning the damage which draconian marijuana laws have cost the American people, but suffice it to say, no human being should spend years on a mandatory prison sentence for a natural drug, when murderers and rapists are allowed to cut deals and many times are released after serving only a fraction of their sentence.

The laws in America are broken, and we can work to fix those laws if we get rid of mandatory prison sentencing for non-violent offenders including those using marijuana, investigate the relationship between judges and prison system owners, and increase non-judicial options for those who are first time non-violent offenders.

According to Tennessee Law , possession of any amount of marijuana, even as little as a single gram, can lead to a sentence of one year in prison with a mandatory fine between $250 and $2,500. It is important to note that a prison sentence isn’t the end of the punishment. Many times these small crimes will also come with a sentence of probation and community service, even after the prison sentence is completed.

A gram is an incredibly small amount of marijuana, yet this amount can lead to a person being put into prison and losing  their careers, their voting rights, Pell Grants for higher education, and so much more. These punishments aren’t just for a year or two, or only for the time they spend in prison and on probation, but these punishments last for their entire lives. When compared to rapists and murderers, the punishments do not always add up. Not only do small time drug offenders face all of these punishments and more, but with the laws of “property seizure” put into place, anything owned by the individual while in possession of a drug, even a gram of marijuana, can be seized by the police and sold at auction to fund their “War on Drugs” programs. Police do not seize cars, homes, or others items they find when arresting criminals involved in murder, assault, or rape. How does this seem fair? How can a small time drug offender, especially one with a drug which is legal in many states and countries, face harsher punishments than violent criminals?

Gram of marijuana

Throughout the next few weeks, I will lay out the story, from beginning to end, so you, the reader, can make an informed decision when you visit your Doctor, when you make medical decisions for your family, and most importantly, when you go to the polls in November.

While I address each issue, there are some questions we all need to ask ourselves. How is it the US government owns the patent to cannabis for medical purposes (US Patent number 6630507) and still continues to claim there are no medical values associated with medical marijuana? Why are police and communities allowed to seize the property of those who are non-violent criminals and demand mandatory sentencing for non-violent offenders, but these same policies are not put into place for violent offenders? With the huge amount of research available to the US and the world, why is medical marijuana not allowed for every man, woman, and child who needs this medication to live a more productive life and to actually survive diseases?

The American government, the FDA, and even the CDC have all been denying the truth about marijuana and how it can be used to help the people of this nation. People have died from ailments which could have been cured, patients have suffered from excruciating pain which could have been lessened with Medical Marijuana, and children with brain destroying seizures could have been saved if the US government had been honest with itself and with the public. It’s time the American people demand the truth.

I will be covering these questions, and more, in my new weekly update, Medical Marijuana in the United States.

For now, I leave you with part one of CNNs special on “Weed.” If you haven’t watched it, please do. There is a part two, and three I will share in the coming weeks.

 

 

 

 

As always… Be safe, be kind, and always be happy!

 

RA, Fibro, & CFS! OH MY!

I finally woke up feeling half way decent today. Not as much pain as yesterday and my head is clearer. Let’s see how long this one holds. I might get some cleaning done today… or not. 🙂

RA and Fibro are the strangest animals (especially when combined with CFS).

 

Fibro Pain 2

Imagine waking up one day and you have the flu. You are achy, tired, feverish, sick, headaches, etc. Then, a few days later you wake up, and you can feel the flu “break.” You have a little energy, your mood is better, and your pain is a little lower. Each day after you feel a little better, and pray like hell you don’t go through that again anytime soon.

Well, RA is kind of like the flu, except, it comes back over and over. Not only that, but RA makes Fibro flare up really bad, and the only thing you wish to do is lay in bed with ice packs and heating pads, eating soup and crackers.

Ughh…. It sucks so bad because you never know when one of those down times are going to hit or how long it will last. The constant changing weather certainly doesn’t make it any better.

Putting together RA, Fibro, and CFS, is like getting the flu, after being run over by a truck, beat by a baseball bat, dropped from a bridge, and being forced to stay up for 72 hours, all while on fire, then being forced to participate in life with a smile on your face…… while on fire.

 

Fibro Pain 1

 

I’m not sure who has my VOODOO doll, but I swear whatever I did to piss you off, you can stop poking me now, and stop it with the fire already! DAMMIT… while you are pulling at my hair, at least take the time to scratch my back…. yea… a little to the left…. oh yea baby, Right there!

 

Voodoo Doll Pain 1

 

As always… Be safe, be kind, and always be happy!

Frida Kahlo and Pain

Today has been shit. Just shit. I spent two days going like crazy, then I spent two days with my brain screaming out in pain. Of course, I don’t scream. If I screamed the way I felt, someone would lock me away in a shiny new room, with pretty white walls. So, I write.

My writing might be crap on days like this, but mostly I’m able to pull together a few sentences which adhere to the English language. It’s always a struggle. I want to write coherently, but it’s either I’m sleepy from medications or in pain because I did not take the medications on time. That balance always leaves me frustrated and pissed off.

Hello, Fate! This was not the future I planned for, and it sure wasn’t the body I wanted. I want an exchange.

One of the fun things I really do enjoy is looking at art. I’ve always admired how other humans can put together colors in what seems like random spots, yet, in the end it turns out so perfectly.

Two of my favorite artists are Van Gogh and Frida Kahlo. They inspire me when I feel my worst. I have to remember, even when they felt nothing but pain, agony, and shame, they produced great works of art, which are breath taking. I may never be a Van Gogh or a Frida, but I can admire their work and draw inspiration from their stories and their work.

Just for the record, I feel like this today……

 

Frida Kahlo

There is pain, then there is PAIN! The constant change of the weather is pulling and pushing my inner body in ways which feel like some mid-evil torture chamber. Sometimes I think if there were no weather changes, I could face the constant drum of pain, then I remember, there is no place without weather changes, and this is going to be my life, day in and day out.

So, I go to sleep. In my dreams I hope and pray the weather does become nicer in time. I can only hope my pain decreases from this scream to a manageable roar.

Until then, I will somehow put words together in coherent sentences, and call it writing. Maybe Frida and Vincent would be proud.

Until next time….. Be safe, be kind, and always be happy.

 

 

Medical Marijuana – Weed 3 — Living with dignity and less pain

If you have anyone in your family who is sick with any severe condition, please, watch this video.

No matter what your views are on the recreational use of marijuana, the use of medical marijuana can no longer be ignored. People, including children, are being saved daily with the use of medical marijuana. This is happening all over the world and is finally being allowed in the US.

88,000 people die every year from alcohol alone (that doesn’t include the domestic abuse injuries and deaths alcohol causes), 16,007 people died from OPIOD overdoses in 2012 alone, yet, Marijuana, when used alone, killed ZERO people, EVER. Let’s stop lying to ourselves, we were duped into believing that marijuana was worse than alcohol, or even tobacco. 

There have been cases when children have accidently ingested their parents marijuana. What happened? Nothing. They went to the ER and had a bad trip. Was it a scary situation? You bet. They need an IV for dehydration, and some serious amounts of snacks after coming down, but, all in all, they were fine. What happened when children ingested too much alcohol? There have been cases when children have actually died from too much alcohol. This includes college students and teens who have died from alcohol poisoning. Yet, alcohol is everywhere and easily accessible, and marijuana, even medical marijuana is made to look like it comes from the devil himself.

I am not saying marijuana is safe. It is not. It is a drug. Just like all drugs, it should be respected, but, if we are going to allow something as dangerous as alcohol to be made in our father’s bathtubs, or to be kept on the kitchen counter, please don’t be a hypocrite and fight against something like medical marijuana, which could actually save lives.

The FDA and the US GOV is finally studying it, but, Israel has been studying medical marijuana, and using it for their patients, for many, many years.

Medical Marijuana does help with PTSD, Severe Pain, MS, RA, Fibromyalgia, Epilepsy, Depression, Wasting Diseases, Diabetes, Cancer, and Alzheimer’s, and many more issues can be helped with medical marijuana.

For my entire life (44 years) I was against all illegal drugs. There was nothing good about anything that was illegal. In some sense I was right. In all cases, there is no reason to let any drug, alcohol, marijuana, or any other drug, to ruin your life. I still believe that. If you allow anything to stop you from becoming a productive member of society or taking care of your family, then you need to readdress what you are doing, and find a new way. You can’t break the law just because you think it is unfair. If your job does not allow medical marijuana, or even cigarettes, you either need to stop doing those things, or make the decision to move states. You need to be a truly productive member of society and care for yourself and your family first. YOu can either move for medical help or work to change the laws where you live, but, I digress.

When I was younger I was strictly against all illegal substances, and I believed everything I saw on TV. There was no medical value in illegal drugs. Then in 2011, I got hurt in Iraq and about the same time, I also became very sick. The military opened my eyes to how much control medical professionals have over pain meds and your body. You become a slave to pain meds, which means you become a slave to the medical machine and the medical machine are slaves to politicians and the random laws. I am not even referring to something as serious as addiction. I am just referring to the relationship between a patient and a doctor. If a patient does or says anything that displeases the doctor, or if the doctor has a bad day, that patient’s entire medical case can be changed at the drop of a hat. It doesn’t even stop at the doctor. The politicians, the FDA, the ADA, even KOCH brothers have their hands in everything that deals with your medications and what is prescribed or approved at any one time. Once a patients becomes sick, the hard truth is, the prescriptions which are allowed or approved by the FDA are all controlled by money. Plain and simple money.

At any time, a politician can be bought or sold by the Koch brothers, or any other big super pac backer, and very quickly my pain medications can be changed and outlawed and I have zero control in how my medicine is handled at the federal and state level. Worse, if my medical provider decides for a personal reason, not a medical reason, to stop prescribing medications, then I have to find a new doctor, or suffer withdrawals and suffer excruciating pain, which is exactly what happened to me. No warning. No help. No titrating down. One day my medical provider decided he wasn’t going to provide narcotics anymore and that was that. His patients had to suffer or find new doctors, which is never an easy process.

As a chronic pain patient, which true severe pain conditions, my entire life is controlled at the politician and medical provider level. When my own medical provider decided to select his own life over mine, I knew then I had to fight for my own well being. That is when I started researching natural pain medications. I found that medical marijuana had been used for thousands of years for joint related pain diseases, such as RA and gout, or other pain disorders. Even now, the US owns a Patent on Medical Marijuana for their own researchers to do tests on the plants. They even have their own fields where they grow only the best plants to test on (which is shown in the video) . — This leads me to believe they know it will work for the listed medical issues (again shown in the video) . I do not like my life being controlled by politicians and big money. I don’t think a patient should be a slave to big pharmaceutical companies, to politicians, and then to the whims and personal agendas of medical providers. A patient has the right to live in dignity. Now, I am a huge supporter of medical marijuana and I fight everyday to change the laws so every patient, in every state, has the same rights to live in dignity and even die with dignity, and less pain.