Why I love The Addams family

I loved The Addams Family when I was growing up. When other shows were portraying the wife as unintelligent, weak, and just a servant to the husband, Morticia was nothing like the TV wives. No matter how crazy her family life got, you did not pick on her family. She was intelligent, classy, sexy, hard working, loving, in charge, and was always looking out for the best for her family, and her husband loved her more than life itself. I always loved Morticia. She was the bad-ass woman I strive to be.

http://hellogiggles.com/relationship-goals-the-addams-family/

Somehow humans find hope and strength in tragedy

I read a blog recently (included at the bottom) and it made me think of a Simpson’s episode. The episode had no story line, no moral, no real ending. The summary of the ending was sometimes a bunch of stuff just happens in life, with absolutely no reason. I really liked that episode. It clicked with me. I agree, sometimes there is NO reason for stuff in life. It just happens.

Why have I been thinking of these things lately? Three of my friends have lost their sons in three separate accidents.  As far as I know, these three families don’t know each other, and yet, I know all three. I just can’t even imagine the pain they are feeling. The grief is enormous, and the only thing I can do is be a sounding board. As a person who like to fix things, I feel helpless not being able to fix this. I want to stamp my foot, scream to the heavens, and make this all go away for them. But, there is no rhyme or reason behind any of this, nothing, and then I realize, sometimes that’s the point.

Sometimes life just sucks, and there is no moral to the story. — The Simpson’s episode that covers this, says, sometimes just a bunch of good and bad stuff happened, and there was no moral at the end. That’s just life. — In my own opinion, crap this bad doesn’t happen for a reason. How can there be a reason for a parent to lose a child in a freak accident? How can people tell a parent that the Heavens needed a new angel more than we needed the child here? I have to step back, and remember, people are actually trying to help, and there is no malicious intent in their motive. In my mind, and there is a very good chance I am wrong, but, in my mind, it is the strong people who later create something better from devastation (or at least survive the devastation — which is hard enough on it’s on).

It is the human condition, the soul, and the drive to be better, which somehow finds connections in this world, to put together something really good from something terrible.

I kind-of like the idea that really bad things in life have no reason. Why? Because that makes the survival of those involved so much greater to accept. When you think life has a purpose, or everything has a reason, then we accept this idea we have no control over anything, and if you have a religion, you might be angry with the religious leaders, or the deity. Just think for a moment if many things in life did not have reason, or purpose, and most things just happened due to blind bad luck. Now, look around at all the survivors. Look at the leaders of the organizations. They picked themselves up, dusted themselves off, and yelled at fate, the world, and at their deity, “I am stronger than this, and my path is not to be weak or to cower to this blind luck. I call you out fate, and I raise you my life.” That is how I see survivors of grieve. As was mentioned in the blog below, grief comes in all forms. You could see and feel the grieve at both my parent’s funerals, you could see the grief on my face and hear it in my anger when I realized my ex had been cheating, I could see it on my children’s faces when they realized their father had left and we had to continue on without them, you see it on the face of people who have lost loved ones (especially children), and you even see it on the face of those who lose jobs, homes, and their health. We all grieve at some point in our lives, and it is painful. It isn’t just a little sad. It isn’t just the ‘blues”. It is ugly. It is screaming, crying, heart bursting, I can’t breath, and I pray for death right now, heart wrenching pain. Even those who grieve sightly, you can see it in their face. Their eyes are no longer naive to losing. Their hearts are breaking and they have no words. That is grief. You know grief when you see it. As you get older and experience pain and grief more and more, you learn to recognize the lines it creates on the faces of your friends and co-workers. They smile, but, you know. You know deep down, they have grieved.

It is those who come out the other side who take that pain with them and grow a garden of something new, something better, and something bigger than themselves. Not because the lose was for “a reason”, but, because those who saw hell in their hearts, new they had to make a reason out of the lose. I see those people, and I know it took every fiber of their souls to keep going, day by day, hour by hour, and sometimes moment by moment just to accept the pain as their own, and not let themselves be crushed under the weight.

Moms who lose children might join MADD, breast cancer survivors raise money and tell their stories, and people who find themselves sick, hurt, lost, or just starting over, somehow find the energy and the hope to carry on. They find the energy and the survival instincts to pick up from pure, life altering grieve, and say to themselves,  and to the world, “You can’t kill me because I’m not done yet.” So, anytime someone tells you, “Everything happens for a reason”, keep in mind they are probably just trying to be nice, and are uncomfortable with the situation, but, in your head, remember, you are the one who makes the life you want. You are the one to reach down and find strength and determination you didn’t even know existed, and you are the one to actually make something out of something terrible, not the other way around. You have 3 choices, not 2. You have the choice to give up, go forward, or continue to be stuck right where you are. Whatever you decide is good for you, is what those around you must accept. Your true friends will meet you at your spot in life, not force you down the path they expect you to take. On your path, be kind to yourself, cry a lot (even in private), hug yourself, and never apologize for venting and telling your stories to the people who want to listen. Tell those stories over and over and over, until they no longer are painful. The right people will listen as many times as you wish to tell the story.

As we all live our lives, finding the small victories in daily moments, I wish for all of you to find the strength and love to make it one more moment, one more hour, and one more day. We are all in this together. May you find peace today.

http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason

What exactly is Doctor Who?

This is the Doctor. Someone who much more than we are. Someone great and small at once. Someone who could run away from the chamois and the hate, yet he stays to help. Why? Because he is kind, loving, and because he is a 912 years old Time lord and he will save us! That is The Doctor!

Twitter photos header 3

 

The Doctor once had a family. A very long tome ago in the far future, he had a family. That family is gone now, but he has a new family. He has a very loving family, who he loves and they love him back. The stories of this family formed are wonderful. You love them from beginning to end, then from the end to the beginning. I can’t tell any spoilers. Never ever spoilers. I promise. The journey will be worth it.

 

I’m back and I’m still not a queen. That doesn’t work for me at all.

Well, hell. I haven’t written here in a while.  What kind of shit is that? Complete shit, I say. Total and complete shit. I need to get better at this blogging thing. I promise I will try harder.

It isn’t like I’ve been sitting around doing nothing. I’ve actually been doing a lot. To my own detriment, I’ve been hidden away in my own little world and not shared those activities in written word.

I guess the big question is, what the hell have I been doing for so long? Well, I was a little depressed and blue. No worries. Not too depressed. Just enough depressed to keep my ego in check. It is the level of blueness which hits most people up-side-the-head and let’s them know they are not the king or queen of the world and they are strictly mere mortals. Mortals who must do mundane crap like pay bills, clean the house, go to Dr’s appts, and actually put on a bra before leaving the house (what a freaking pain that is).

During the “accepting I’m just a mere mortal” time in my life, I’ve been working on my home, writing a few more pages of my book (which for some damn reason I feel I’ll never finish), and painting a few things. Oh, and I ate a lot of cake. Come on, just because I’m not a queen, doesn’t mean my life cannot be filled with all the flavors and smells of wondrous cake in my home. If I must be just a mortal, I will still have cake (and pies in a pinch).

Between all the cake eating, bill paying, and house cleaning, I have been dealing with all my medical issues one at a time. Hello body! Why can’t you just be nice and not go nuts on me all at once? I’m not sure how anyone puts up with me. I’m not being self loathing, just honest. Seriously, I live in this body and sometimes I’m sick of being me.

If dealing with my medical issues weren’t enough, my computer crashed a few times. Oh yes! I wish to take all the evil hackers of the world, who know coding so well, they could save an entire village, but, instead they use their super powers to implant viruses into computers of unsuspecting people (like myself), and put them in a room full of spiders, roaches, or something that is really creepy crawly and gross.

What have I ever done to you? I’m only trying to have a little fun with the outside world and you sit behind your computer sending out ugly, nasty, viruses to destroy the little bit of fun people like me have. Since I’m not the type of person to wish too much harm on anyone, I am going to curse you with the greatest thing you deserve; lack of time. I hope you travel and bring home a nasty case of bed bugs, then I hope you, and your fellow hackers, share a wonderful case of scabies, and then, just a few months later, I hope your children bring home a nice case of lice from their school, to make you itch and itch. I hope to see you itching and itching so badly you don’t have time to send out anymore viruses. Good luck getting the bedbugs out of your carpet. I would pack up and move away if I were you. Please, turn to a life of gardening and cooking, not hacking and sending out malware. It would make life so much better.

After 3 weeks of fighting malware and silly little viruses, I spent time de-cluttering my home. De-cluttering is going to be a two year process. It’s not that I couldn’t just get it all done in one swoop, but, there are so many memories I have collected over my entire adult life (and the entire lives of my children), I want to make sure I get rid of things in an orderly fashion and not in an emotional fashion. I have over 28 years of stuff I need to address with the same methodical order as I do the rest of my life; manic and not so manic. I plan to move in a few years, so, going through each room and getting rid of stuff I don’t need will make the move much easier. Of course, normal people would just take a few weeks, get rid of everything, and start over, but, no! I can’t do things the easy way.

There are so many days when I wish I was normal. Really!! I wish I could wake up in the morning and know I was perfectly normal. No manic / depressive moments, no anxiety, no worrying, no self doubt, no pain from disease, no hording tendencies, no OCD tendencies, and certainly no ADD tendencies. I mean seriously, I could fill two or three lives with my entire alphabet of medical and mental issues. I could pass them out on the street corner for free. Hey you! Yeah! You! You want some ADD, with a side of PTSD? How about some anxiety sprinkled with some self-doubt? No? OK. No problem dude. How about some RA? Some FIBRO? Just a little IBS? Come on!! You know you want some of that good CFS! I have a little nausea and insomnia on the side. I promise, you buy one, and I’ll throw one in for free. Come back next week, I might have some new product for you. Don’t worry! I’ve got ICD10 labels to spare.

Well hell. The truth is, I can’t even give this shit away. It’s all mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. “I got some ice cream and you can’t have none” comes to mind. If you get the reference to that paraphrase, you’re showing your age. If you don’t get the reference, do not, under any circumstances look it up while at work, in church, or when children are around. Plus, keep in mind, you will need a very good twisted sense of humor to watch the entire reference. Might as well pull up a chair, because if you find you enjoy that kind of humor, you will be on You Tube for the next hour looking up the entire program related to the “ice cream story”.

As you look up the funny inappropriate bits, of an actor in his early years, I will get back to my story.

So, I need to de-clutter my home, get my brain in focus, while preparing for the holidays, talking to insurance folks for hours on end, while dealing with my daily medical issues, and fixing my home enough to convince the neighbors someone still lives here. No problem! I got this shit!! Dammit! Now, where are my servants? What? No servants! Fine! Pass me the cake. At least I can have cake.

Until next time….. Be safe, be kind, and always be happy.

 

The voices in my head want me to write about them.

The voices in my head want me to write about them.

No. I’m not crazy. At least not in the sense that I need to be carried away in a white jacket to a place where the number one thing to look forward to is the flavor of jello of the day.

At this point in my writing I actually consider myself a writer. I might not be a very good writer, but I put words to paper, most of the time they make sense, and some wonderful people sometimes read those words. So yea, I’m a writer.

The problem with writing is everything around you becomes a story. I have voices in my head which are begging to get out. So many voices. So many stories. So little time.

Writing Meme

Whenever I am writing stories, and take a break, I feel as if my characters are tapping their feet and getting irritated with me because I’ve left them in limbo. 

When I start typing again, I almost feel like apologizing for making them wait so long.

Don’t worry my precious voices, I’ll be back soon.

Until next time…Be safe, be kind, be happy, and take time to love one another. We’re all in this together.

 

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(Shhh Here’s a secret. There’s a “follow” button near the top right of this page. I know you want to click it. It’s okay. No one is looking. Go on. Press it. You will receive all the wine & chocolate induced updates you can handle. Plus, if you’re feeling extra froggy today, go ahead and jump on that Twitter share button too! It doesn’t even hurt! 🙂  )

*Copyright statement for art, photos, or memes located in “about” section.

Shout out to my followers! I have more than 10 followers! HOLY CRAP! I have 11 Followers!

I started this blog as therapy and as a way I could cuss and my Aunt not fuss too much at me on Social media. I never once thought I would have any followers at all, but, to break 10 followers, and see today I have 11! Well, dang it! That is pretty darn cool!! If I have not commented on your sites enough, I am truly sorry, I only today figured out how the “readers” link worked, and I will be a better online partner. What I truly love about my followers is they come from many different backgrounds. Artsy, introspective, book writer, a poet, a photographer, and a few of us nerds have found each other. The one thing we all have in common is the fact we have found a medium to express our thoughts, our beliefs, and to express our beliefs in safe ways that will actually make a difference one day. We have saved ourselves through words and we have affected each other very deeply.

In real life, we may not know each other, we may not agree on everything in life, and we may not even hang out, and that is perfectly ok. We don’t have to agree on everything to support each other. But, here, in our individual blogs, we share enough of ourselves that we support each other in this adventure we call blogging. we share intimate details and we provide input and support for each other enough to go about our day, and to pursue our own interests in our own lives. That is the awesome part about blogging. We can be here just for the amount of time we need each other, then give each other a major high five, and go tackle the world in our own glorious ways! I am proud to call you my online friends! To many more days of wonderful blogging!

So, drum roll, here are my cool blogging friends! In no particular order, here are the people who think I am worth the time to follow!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • This is Tony! I open my e-mail every day to his blog. He sends me “likes” and he updates his blog all the time, so, seeing his smile every morning gets my day started! He is a fellow nerd and geek!

http://tonyburgess1969.net/

  • Broken Brilliant is working through the pain and recovery of TBI and a few mental issues! Awesome blog! Give BB some love!

https://brokenbrilliant.wordpress.com/about/

  • Babylonian Sweet Peas is my sister in pain! When I follow her blog, I see myself in her. We are disease sister and I look at her blog when I need to remind myself I am not crazy! LOL 🙂 Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Fibromyalgia SUCKS the life out of you! And blogging keeps many of us sane! **** Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is the name in the US, many other countries call it M.E. The US is looking at adopting this name also.

<<< You really need to teach me how to make my words different colors. 🙂 Pretty Please >>>>

http://babyloniansweetpeas.com/

  • Moon Gazer is another of my FIBRO sisters. Her blog is about her daily adventures in life, and living life in spite of this crazy disease. I love her cat!

https://oldmamoon.wordpress.com/about/

  • Renny Dio is all about helping those in poverty situations around the world. They have some very good information on their site. They provide links to healthy options around the world. It looks like they provide link backs to other sites, but, still, the other sites seem to be very interesting. I like reading interesting things, so, like this.

https://rennydioknodotcom.wordpress.com/

  • StoriForm — HOLY COW! If you want to read some really interesting stories, and some far out stuff, this is where you need to go! I love having my mind expanded! It seems he has none of his comments opened, so I can’t tell him how much I enjoy the “out of box” thinking he has, so, I guess I need to tell him here! Yep… pretty cool and interesting stories he is writing.

http://storiform.com/

  • Well, if you want to see some AMAZING photography! I love visiting this page just to see new photos uploaded! It amazes me how much talent is in this world.

https://kelzbelzphotography.wordpress.com/

  • You know when you meet someone who is slightly ADHD and Smart about EVERYTHING! Well, let me tell you, this blog has all kind of interesting History stuff on it. But, it just doesn’t end at history. There are travel pages, information pages, entertainment, and a huge menagerie of information that will keep you busy for hours!

https://stillnessofheart.wordpress.com/

  • Kate! — When you go to a blog, and it looks just like one of those nice home magazines you get in the mail? Well, that is how I feel when I go to Kate’s blog. I feel “at home.” I feel loved. I feel like I need to start baking or cleaning. I love her blog as something very comfortable. Like an old sweater or a comfy blanket. Very nice indeed. Go here when the rest of the world is terrible. You will leave here smiling. 🙂

https://thiswonderfulife.wordpress.com/

  • Steve is a fellow Veteran. As a Veteran, I too found it hard to transition to the civilian world. I read everything I could find and followed all the rules, still transition is hard. Steve’s blog is a way for Veterans to find their center in a world full of Chaos. This is a great place for fellow Veterans to find friends and to find others who are looking for their own way.

http://steveroseblog.com/2015/04/17/what-veterans-know-about-leadership/

Thank you all for following me and thinking my BLOG was worthy of your time!

Much respect to all of you!

AMY

PS — My Number 11 follower link was broken! But, when the link is fixed, I will give them a shout out also! 🙂

Adults put teens in adult situations, then expect them to sit down and shut up when they handle bad situations like mature and brave adults should.

My opinion piece on the attitude of online adults to teens:

I have read many stories about teens and high-school students taking a stand against sexism, homophobia, and racism in their schools, and even standing up to teachers who use their positions to perpetuate these types of hate filled messages.

I applaud these kids! I really do! But, what confuses me is the amount of adults, online, who say kids should know their place, and behave, mind their teachers, even when faced with hate, liars, and bigotry, from the exact adults who are supposed to be teaching the new generation of adults.

I am constantly baffled by the hypocrite stance these adults have concerning the teens they are bashing. I totally admit not every student is in the right, or maybe could have handled things a little differentially, but, that is where mentors and adults come in to show them how to fight and win battles correctly. They should be mentored for what they are doing, not, insulted for their passions. I also do not think every teacher is innocent, in fact, many are not.

Let’s revisit some of the leading news articles, just over the last year. Teachers have been caught having sex with their students. Teachers have been caught with child pornography on their computers. Teachers have been caught not only using illegal drugs, but also selling illegal drugs to their students. Teachers have been caught sexually harassing not only other teachers, but, also students, in situations where the student has no way to save themselves. There are teachers who not only condone bullying, but, encourage it. Science research has been proven time and again that teachers give better grades to those who have familiar names, and to those who are “teacher’s pets”. Teachers have been proven to lie, cheat, steal, and accept bribes to help students do better in school, and to make it look like the teachers themselves are better teachers, only to earn the bonuses they would have lost if their real teaching abilities had been made public. These are only the teachers who have been caught and arrested or fired. Most teachers who have been reported for illegal or immoral activities are just counseled and moved to another school, to start their activities all over again. So, please, stop the fake rhetoric, that teachers are infallible, perfect people, who should be worshiped, and students are the only problem. They are not.

In no way am I saying that every teacher is like this. In fact, I personally know some outstanding teachers, who don’t receive income anywhere near what they are worth, and they should be put up on pedestals and worshipped for the hell some students put them through. The sad part is, those teachers are becoming the minority, instead of the majority. Do we need better teachers? You net we do. But, until the US Government finds a way to get and retain better teachers, we need strong students to be able to stand up for what is right and good, and bring the issues in their schools to light. Whether they use Facebook, Twitter, or You Tube, these student journalist need the help of the public, not the shame of spineless adults. These students are demanding better teachers, better schools, better education, and better policies that benefit everyone. We should support them, not demise them, because they are teens.

On one side of the coin, most adults want their kids to be mini adults, and they expect the teen students to tackle 8 hours of school a day, 4 hours of homework most nights, extracurricular activities, and they are also expected to maintain a part time job on the weekends. All of this while maintaining a A/B average in school, facing sexual harassment at school, constant threats of violence at school, hormonal changes, heart break, pregnancy fears, fears their parents will divorce or that another student will commit suicide or over dose, pressure to have sex for the first time, all the teacher crap which was mentioned above, and pressure to find a college and not only change schools, but, also move away from friends, family members, and all they have ever known. Let’s not forget, the teens, who turned 14 this year, have never known a life without war, and the teens who are graduating high school this year, have always been in school during a war. All they know is death and war. They face so much more pain and stress, on a daily basis, there is no way they could ever share it all, with anyone. Their own parents will not even know the battles and burdens their teens face everyday.

These “perfect” adults seem to forget what is was to be a teenager, or they honestly have never had to face the issues the students must face in a modern high school. We should praise the students who point out issues in their schools, instead of insulting them and patronizing them.

These kids are pressured each and every day to grow up and act like an adult, but, the moment they find their voice, the moment they find their passion, the moment they stand up for what is right, even when it is against another adult, they are told to sit down and shut up and act their age.

I hope each and every teen out there continues to stand up for what is good and right in this world, and never, ever, shut up about an injustice in your school.

I have something to tell those adults. I would gladly call these teens my equal and I would consider them my colleagues in the adult world. Too bad more “adults” aren’t as brave as many modern teens are.

The teens, who are yelled at everyday to act more like an adult, are acting their age perfectly. They are acting with more bravery and more courage then I see in most adults and I am damn proud of them.

Bullied child kills himself to stop the pain — Rules to live by: Don’t be an asshole, don’t raise kids to be assholes, and when you see someone being an asshole, stop them from acting like an asshole

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No parent should have to worry that their child is going to take their own life because other children are complete assholes. In fact, no adult should have to live like this either.

Rules to live by: Rules to live by: Don’t be an asshole, Don’t raise kids to be assholes, and when you see someone being an asshole, stop them from acting like an asshole.

Here is her heartbreaking video about the pain her son lived everyday. Personally, I hope the kids, who pushed him over the edge, are accused and found guilty of criminal harassment, but, depending on the state, they will probably just be allowed to live their lives as assholes, with no conscience about what they did, and probably work on Wall Street or something.

It is a sad and true fact that many terrible humans will select the ones they perceive as weaker and try to eliminate them or harass them. Many humans will “form packs” and go around selecting those who are loners and have no pack or clan of their own, so, as parents, we have to understand this mentality, and help our kids find their way. Strength is truly stronger in numbers.

We all say that life should be fair and school should be a safe place for our children to learn. The real truth is, life is not fair, and school is one of the worst places to expect a safe environment. When you send your child to school, it becomes a “Thunderdome” situation. There are no parents around, and underpaid teachers (who are also some of the worst bullies), leave weak and different kids at the mercy of those who wish to do them harm. If life was such a fair and safe place, girls would not go to the bathroom with their friends.

Since there are complete assholes in this world, and we can’t expect asshole parents to raised their neanderthal kids any better than they are, parents need to also raise their kids in a way that gives them a shield against the stupid shit at school. BTW — this goes for adults too. Many adults find themselves alone and sad because they can’t find others in their own niche. Well, get out and find your pack. Trust me, they are looking for you too.

Some more rules to live by; get your kids involved in groups that do the same things they do. If your child does not have many friends, go out and find some, and invite them over for a party. Those kids are probably looking for friends too. Many kids, who are bullied, just haven’t found their niche in life yet, help them find that niche, by involving them in after school functions and weekend activities. Eventually, they will find a group to call their own. Once they find their own group, they will have their own little pack of friends. Obviously, the big one she stressed, in the video, if someone says they are going to kill themselves, take their threat seriously, and report it.

In the end, here are some numbers everyone should know:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255 
Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/