Here is the real weather forecast.

It is incredibly wet, cold, and miserable!!!

55 degrees and extremely painful. Instead of pollen scales, we will be using pain scales today.

Pain levels are very high today. Depending on your particular condition, expect pain scales to be anywhere from a low 5 to as high as a 9. If you hit 10, please call your Dr, and make time for a trip to the ER. Pray to your God while there, because the weather outlook does not look any better, and pain levels don’t look so good either.

To anyone over 40, even without chronic medical conditions, do not expect pain levels lower than a 3 today. Those old joints, muscles, and that old football injury will be barking loud in this type of weather. You are going to regret those long runs when you were 15. The memory of running for miles on hard roads, with cheap tennis shoes, will be coming back in full force. Your knees will thank you in a very angry manner.

Expect to plan for extra time in the morning getting those joints moving, muscles warmed up, and putting your brain in gear. This weather is not for the weak spirited. This weather is for those who are willing to reach down and grab some intestinal fortitude…..and a heating blanket, heating pad, and some serious pain medications.

For the ladies, no makeup and a pony tail are perfectly acceptable fashion wear today. For the men, if you can pull it off, jeans, sweat pants, and a warm t-shirt is the uniform of the day. In fact, just take a sick day. You all deserve some warm cuddle time.

Come on all you old farts, let’s finish this day off strong. (BTW — I write this from my warm couch, in yoga pants, and wrapped in a blanket. 🙂 )

For your reading pleasure, here are the real pain scales chronically ill people should use.